I was going to send an email to some friends with some funny stories, but then had the highly insightful realization that methot.net is a blog - I could post the stories! I can escape my little mental box that says I can only post here when there are photos! May your Inbox (or RSS reader) beware.
First, the warning every parent should get as soon as their child can stand up on his or her own: your child will attempt to break your nose and knock out your teeth! They don't do it on purpose, obviously. But I can't tell you how many times it has happened to Carol or me. I'll bend over Audrey to pick her up or hug her from behind and just at that instant she'll decide to jump. WHAM, I'm seeing stars. Can't wait for Charlotte to start doing it, too.
Now a story. Audrey is learning about body sensations and maybe even getting ready to potty train. So right now, instead of "the boy who cried 'wolf!'", she's "the girl who cried 'poop!'". More specifically, "I have poop!" We hear that many times a day. It's almost never true (yet).
Audrey will also use it as a dodge to avoid something she doesn't want to do, like go to bed. One night last week, she was overtired and whining like you wouldn't believe. I was trying to get her into bed (once she is laying down and I'm reading stories she does fine).
"I have poop!" she squealed.
"No you don't, Audrey, I just a put a fresh diaper on you," I replied.
"But I have pee pee!"
"Well," I said, "you can't have peed much in the three minutes you've had that diaper on."
"But I have farts!"
"That's OK. You don't need a new diaper for farts."
She was reaching the end of the line. If she didn't come up with something she might actually have to go to bed. So, in her very whiniest, saddest, crying voice she protested, "I need you to change my farts!"
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